what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
