so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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