I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
