i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
