I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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