Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
