Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
