I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
