OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
