The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
