the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
