these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
it's like heaven, but drunker
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
