Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize