I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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