so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
