you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I think my moral compass just broke
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
