Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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