I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
