i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize