drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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