i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
