we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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