butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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