I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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