No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
