dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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