ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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