I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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