Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
