I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
