I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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