She is in my trunk
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
