A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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