i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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