Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
