The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My breasts were aching with rage.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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