He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
