Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
