Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize