but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
