Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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