This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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