drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
