Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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