there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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