I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
