K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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