just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
