Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
