I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
