goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
