ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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