FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
