i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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