I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
