11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
