you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
