i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
