I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
