dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he was CRYING into my vagina
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
