I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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