I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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